


Unraveling with Every Word

by todxrxki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anyways, M/M, a lot of hopeless fluff, au where kenma's a writer and has the motivation to publish a novel, still mostly fluff, there's a tiny bit of angst but like, there's bokuaka for like .2 seconds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 07:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21454639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/pseuds/todxrxki
Summary: The relationship between them is too reminiscent of what used to be present between the two of them. Every conversation seems like it could have easily been snatched from actual conversations between Kuroo and Kenma. However, halfway through the novel, it suddenly occurs to Kuroo that this is supposed to be a romance novel. And if that’s the case, shouldn’t the love interest have showed up already?And then, as Himura starts to get butterflies in her stomach when she’s around Fujimoto, it dawns on him.Holy shit.Had… had Kenma actually written a romance novel that was essentially a romance between him and Kuroo? / After a year of not speaking to Kenma, Kuroo finds out that Kenma's a bestselling author and picks up his novel, only to find that the romance between the two childhood friends in the novel is far too familiar.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 26
Kudos: 468
Collections: My favorite haikyuu fics





	Unraveling with Every Word

Kuroo wakes up, blinks at the ceiling. It’s plain white. It always is these days.

He staggers out of bed into his bathroom. As always, he tries to tame his rat’s nest of a bedhead, but it refuses to stay down even with an immense amount of hair gel. Whatever, he figures - the people at his workplace have seen him with hair like this for the past year he’s worked there. They can deal with his hair being messy for one more day. He glances at his phone. There’s one text from Yaku, telling Kuroo to stop texting him annoying memes past midnight. Kuroo opts to ignore it, along with the empty feeling in his chest that comes with having no other notifications. He’s not even sure who he wants to hear from in the first place, so really, there's no reason at all for him to be feeling like this.

(He's become incredibly good at suppressing thoughts to do with the one person he _actually _wants to hear from.) 

He heads to the coffee shop down the street, since today, he’s promised to meet Bokuto and Akaashi for coffee before he heads to work. As he walks up, he spots Bokuto and Akaashi’s heads close together, as though they’re hunched over something. He spots a phone between the two of them. Bokuto and Akaashi glance at each other in unison, and then out, their faces breaking into tense smiles when they spot him. _What the fuck is going on here, _Kuroo thinks.

“Hey, guys,” Kuroo says, taking a seat at the table. He motions at the phone. “Eh, what’s going on here?”

Akaashi quickly pockets the phone and puts on completely unconvincing flat expression. “Nothing, Kuroo-san.”

“We’ve just been waitin’ for you to show up, bro!” Bokuto says. Bokuto is a terrible liar.

Kuroo has no idea what the hell could be happening right now, but he's 100% sure he's being lied to, and he's also 100% sure that he despises being lied to. He sighs. “You two suck at lying,” he says. “If the conversation was some kind of couple shit before I got here, just tell me. But otherwise… I’d like to know.”

“Man,” Bokuto says, his mouth being drawn into a line, “are you sure you want to know?”

“Of course I’m sure I want to know,” Kuroo says, crossing his arms across his chest. He’s a strong guy, isn’t he? There’s not a lot that could hurt him at this point, he’s pretty sure. Or is it something else altogether? Has one of his favorite celebrities died? His mind spins with the possibilities.

Hesitantly, Akaashi reaches into his pocket and pulls out the cellphone. Immediately, Kuroo’s vision swims with a name that he hasn’t let himself think about in almost a year now.

Kozume Kenma.

_Kozume Kenma’s book hits the bestseller list, _the headlines read. _Kozume Kenma to be youngest bestselling male romance author in years. Kozume Kenma weaves a tale of heartbreak, romance, and happy endings with his new novel “Everything for You.” _

Kuroo nearly keels over on the spot.

Bokuto presses a napkin doused in water to his forehead. “Dude, are you okay? You look really pale. Are you gonna faint? Please don’t faint! Holy shit, I knew we shouldn’t have showed him!”

“I- I’m fine,” Kuroo manages to get out, and then forces a small chuckle. “It’s just, that wasn’t what I was expecting to see when you showed me the phone. But it’s fine! I’m glad he’s doing well and being successful. I am.”

“…okay,” Akaashi says, sounding as though he very much does not believe Kuroo. Which is fair, Kuroo thinks; Kuroo doesn’t even really believe himself. Akaashi continues, “His book is being highly reviewed. I never knew he had this much of an aptitude for writing.”

“He had always been very creative,” Kuroo says stiffly.

It seems wrong to talk about Kenma like this, as though he’s a part of Kuroo’s past, now dead to him. But that’s how it is at this point. Kuroo has not heard from Kenma once in the past year, ever since their biggest argument yet. It was over something stupid, but Kuroo assumes it was a buildup of things. He’d been too nervous to reach out to Kenma, and apparently Kenma hates him or something, because he hadn’t reached out either. And now apparently Kenma’s a bestselling author and Kuroo is…

Kuroo is nothing but a loser, stuck in a dead end job, hating his life, having only brief respites to see his small social circle. Kuroo is a man with an office job who never made it to the National volleyball team

“Anyways,” Bokuto says with a nervous laugh, “have you… uh… have you seen the new Avengers movie? I hear it was really good… haha…”

Kuroo appreciates Bokuto’s attempt to change the subject, but it’s certainly not enough to get his mind off of the subject now that it’s been brought up. Still, so that Akaashi and Bokuto won’t worry, he half-heartedly participates in the conversation, piping up with random bits of information or falsified opinions. Still, his head is spinning. Sure, Kenma had always been creative, but to have the motivation to write an entire book? And a romance book at that? Through all the years Kuroo had known him, Kenma hadn’t ever shown a romantic interest in anyone.

Who could have inspired this sudden romanticism? Chibi-chan from Karasuno, maybe? Kenma had always had an odd fascination with him. And he’d always been fairly close to Akaashi, but Akaashi and Bokuto had been dating for a while… but the book had heartbreak, so maybe it was about that…

“Kuroo-san,” Akaashi says, loud for Akaashi, snapping his fingers in front of Kuroo’s face. “Are you… are you okay? You seem very out of it.”

“See, we definitely shouldn’t have showed him!” Bokuto says triumphantly.

“No, I’m fine,” Kuroo argues. “I just am feeling kinda sick today, y’know. Anyways… I gotta get to work.”

“I hope you feel better,” Akaashi says politely, though it’s obvious he doesn’t believe Kuroo at all. Well, he doesn’t need their approval, anyways. It’s normal to feel a little bit shaken when you find out your childhood best friend and current ex-best friend is a best-selling author, isn’t it?

He gets through work somehow, though it’s probably obvious to everyone that his heart isn’t in it at all. His mind is too busy still wondering what Kenma’s book is about. What does Kenma find romantic? What kind of relationship is Kenma’s ideal? It drives him crazy enough that on the way home, he stops by the bookstore.

He’s not sure what he’s expecting to find, really, but there’s a huge display at the front of the store featuring Kenma’s book’s title in huge letters - _Everything for You_. Most of the display is empty, which means that his book seems to be selling out extremely quickly. Something swells in Kuroo’s chest. A combination of pride and sadness, he thinks, and maybe something else he doesn’t quite understand. He picks up one of the books and stares at it for a second. It takes him less than a minute to make his decision.

He walks up to the cashier and places Kenma’s book on the counter.

It burns a hole in his coat pocket as he walks the rest of the way home. As soon as he gets home, he doesn’t even take the time to eat dinner. Instead, he flops down on the couch with the book and cracks it open.

_Himura Yasu is seven years old when Fujimoto Yuudai comes into her life and turns it upside down forever._

Kuroo blinks.

Quick calculations tell him that Kenma had definitely been seven years old when they’d first met all those years ago. It could be a coincidence still, he thinks. But it’s definitely a very strange coincidence. With his brow furrowing, he continues to read.

Himura Yasu is the protagonist, a quiet, reclusive girl who doesn’t really have many friends. Kuroo’s mouth twists up at that; he hadn’t expected Kenma to be the type to form a main character after himself, since he hated attention so much. But he sees Kenma in so many of her quirks, in the way that she views herself and the world. And in the fact that Fujimoto Yuudai, her childhood best friend, is basically Kuroo.

Fujimoto is quiet when he first shows up in the story. It reminds Kuroo of when he’d first met Kenma, how quiet he’d been, how afraid he’d been to talk even to Kenma, since Tokyo and Kenma were so new to him. But then Fujimoto, much like Kuroo, warms up over time. With Himura’s encouragement, he joins in school clubs and begins to slowly become more talkative (_obnoxious_, he can hear Kenma’s soft voice in his head) over time. The relationship between them is too reminiscent of what used to be present between the two of them. It stings, the reminder of what they’d lost - their easy familiarity, their warm bickering, the way they’d never been incomplete as individuals but somehow seemed more complete together. Every conversation seems like it could have easily been snatched from actual conversations between the two of them.

However, halfway through the novel, it suddenly occurs to Kuroo that this is supposed to be a romance novel. And if that’s the case, shouldn’t the love interest have showed up already?

And then, as Himura starts to get butterflies in her stomach when she’s around Fujimoto, it dawns on him.

_Holy fucking shit._

Had… had Kenma actually written a romance novel that was essentially a romance between him and Kuroo? What the _fuck_?

He continues tearing through the novel, half of him hoping that another love interest might show up so he won’t have to deal with this… whatever it is building up inside of him, but instead it only gets worse. Himura and Fujimoto have an argument that’s eerily similar to the one he and Kenma had had - along the same lines of _caring too much._ Himura claims that Fujimoto is too reckless; Fujimoto retorts that Himura isn’t reckless enough and tends to play life too safe. And then, with a feeling that’s far too familiar, the two of them go their separate ways.

It’s a situation Kuroo hasn’t let himself think about for far too long, and he feels the same shattering of his heart as he reads about it as when he’d first experienced it.

But it’s a love story, isn’t it? He keeps poring on through it, praying for another love interest to show up, praying for this novel to go another way than the one he’s dreading it going right now.

Unfortunately, he could never be so lucky.

After a year of separation, Himura hears a knock on her door and opens it to find Fujimoto waiting on the other side, his eyes too sincere as he apologizes. Himura dismisses him, shaking her head as she says that she’s just as much to blame, and then thanks him for coming to apologize. And then, with her head bowed, she quietly says, “You know, I’ve been in love with you for years now.”

But it’s not a girl’s voice Kuroo hears as he reads the words. It’s Kenma’s.

And it’s his own voice echoing back as he reads Fujimoto saying, “W-what are you saying? Don’t be stupid!”

_Himura laughs. _Kuroo hears Kenma’s quiet giggle. _She says, “I mean what I said. I’m in love with you.” _

_“I didn’t think anything like that was possible,” _Kuroo - no, _Fujimoto says. “I figured you weren’t interested in people, you know, in that way.” _

_“Just you,” Himura says softly. “It’s always been you.”_

_“For me, too,” Fujimoto tells her, reverently stroking her cheek. “Always. I’ll always love you. And… I’ve missed you so much, so let’s never do that again, okay?”_

Kuroo throws down the book like he’s been scalded. He can’t imagine his Kenma - no, just Kenma now, not his in any way anymore - writing something so incredibly sappy like this, much less from a character that’s basically Kuroo speaking to Kenma himself. Is- is this what Kenma wants? Is this the reunion Kenma’s been dreaming of?

Is Kenma in love with Kuroo?

Kuroo’s heart stops. He hasn’t thought about anything like _that _in years. Before their argument, he’d had those thoughts about Kenma, though he’d tried hard to suppress them. He’d been all too aware of the way that his heart sped up when Kenma was in the vicinity, the way that Kenma’s hair would fall into his face sometimes and Kuroo would have the inexplicable urge to brush it back behind his ear and leave a gentle kiss on his forehead, the way that he’d dreamed about Kenma more times than he’d like to admit. But he’d told himself it wasn’t possible and, after their argument, made himself not even consider it as an option.

But, he thinks as he picks the book back up and reads the kiss between the two characters, could it be an option after all?

The rest of the book is just as sickeningly sweet, an epilogue that has them spending their lives together, against all odds. Kuroo finds himself sniffling at the end. But as he puts down the book, he’s forced to reflect on what this means.

Does Kenma want to spend the rest of his life with Kuroo? Even after everything that had happened? Even after a year apart? What if his mind has changed since he wrote the book?

He falls asleep with the same questions plaguing his mind, so inevitably Kenma appears in his dreams, his hair long and eyes glinting with something like disdain as he tells Kuroo “Of course I’m not in love with you. It was just the easiest thing to write about for this romance novel.”

Kuroo wakes up in a cold sweat. He forces himself to get dressed, eat something for breakfast, do everything he has to do before going to work, but the day is even worse than yesterday. He can’t stop the thoughts of Kenma from plaguing his mind, the idea of Kenma looking up at him, his voice soft as he says, “I meant what I said. I’m in love with you.”

And this was exactly what he’d been trying to avoid.

Plus, there’s the dilemma of what exactly he’s supposed to do about it. He could just ignore it, but that hasn’t exactly been going great so far. Or he could talk to Kenma. But he doesn’t even know where he could find Kenma, and this seems like a conversation that one ought to have in person.

So instead, he calls up Bokuto and Akaashi to invite them for dinner.  
  


  
“You read the book,” Akaashi says bluntly as soon as Kuroo shows up.

The bluntness of Akaashi’s words reminds Kuroo too much of Kenma. He feels his heart squeeze a little. “How did you know?” he asks.

“You asked us to get dinner, bro!” Bokuto says, beaming. “You only do that when you’re havin’ a crisis!”

Well, isn’t he just a terrible friend. Kuroo sighs. “Have you read the book?” he asks rather than answering the question.

“Of course,” Akaashi says. “I read it when it was first released. And… I suppose half of me hoped you would read it eventually. It’s not exactly very subtle, is it?”

Kuroo feels like the ground is falling out beneath him.

“I-is it really about me?” Kuroo asks weakly, so quiet he can barely even hear his own words.

“I don’t think we can answer that for ya, man,” Bokuto says, clapping him on the back. His voice is a little softer as he says, “There’s only one person who can do that.”

“What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Kuroo asks weakly. _What if I don’t want to talk to him, _he wonders, but then again he very much does want to talk to Kenma. He can’t even deny it to himself. He’s dying to hear Kenma’s voice again, to see that beautiful face in front of him, those soothing golden eyes on his.

“He wrote an entire book that may or may not be about you,” Akaashi says flatly. “I think that should say enough.”

Kuroo blinks and realizes that there’s only one thing he can reasonably do in this situation. The two of them have already spent enough time avoiding each other, wasting so much time that they could have spent together. He's already spent far too many hours, days, weeks, _months_, trying to keep himself from missing Kenma, from noticing the distinctly Kenma-shaped hole inside of his chest. He can't let this go on any longer. He's not sure he can make it much longer, actually. He has to stop being a coward. He has to finally, _finally, _face the situation head on.

So, with the little amount of dignity he has left, he begs Akaashi to give him Kenma’s new address.

He’s pleasantly surprised to find that Kenma hasn’t left the city, but it’s one of the things that hasn’t changed about Kenma, hopefully one of the things that will never change about him: how attached Kenma is to his home city. He types the address into his phone and stares at the screen. A ten minute drive. This entire time, Kenma’s been just a ten minute drive away.

Just a ten minute drive, and yet somehow it feels like he’s been an entire universe away.

The taxi ride there is probably the most nerve-wracking ride of Kuroo’s entire life. It’s only ten minutes, but it feels like ten centuries, he thinks as he stares out the window, tries to check his texts over and over again, and scrolls through his Twitter feed repeatedly, wincing at mentions of Kenma’s new book that are still appearing on his timeline. Finally, the cab comes to a stop, and Kuroo stares at the apartment building in front of him. The plain white brick is suddenly intimidating. Kuroo’s heart jumps into his throat.

It’s the only option, he tells himself. It’s now or never.

So he knocks on the door.

For a good sixty seconds, it’s dead silent. The only thing that Kuroo can hear is the thumping of his own heart. He’s about to give up, tell himself that Kenma must not be home and come back another time (he won’t), when the door slowly slides open.

Kozume Kenma stands there, his hair pulled back into a ponytail, his eyes wide with surprise and his jaw dropping. He’s even more ethereal than the last time Kuroo had seen him, and Kuroo thinks that he’s definitely, definitely in love with him.

But first he has something else to address. It’s too bad that he can’t find the words to say when Kenma’s standing in front of him looking like _that_.

Kenma speaks first.

“Kuroo,” he says, his voice hoarse. “What are you doing here?”

“One guess,” Kuroo says, because it’s all he can bring himself to say.  
  


  
Kenma tilts his head down, a delicious pink spreading up his cheeks. “You read the book,” he mumbles.

“I did,” Kuroo says.

“I… I can’t talk to you right now,” Kenma replies. Kuroo recognizes the sudden spark of panic that rises up in Kenma's eyes. He'd never wanted to be the one to put it there. Kenma starts to close the door in Kuroo’s face, but thankfully, Kuroo’s able to catch it just before it closes.

“Kenma, wait,” he says, keeping his voice as soft and even as possible. “I… I’m sorry.” Kenma blinks at him, as if he hadn’t been expecting this, and Kuroo continues. “Our fight was stupid, okay? It was over something so small, and I never should’ve let it blow up the way it did. It was so dumb and I… and I…” He starts to get a little choked up, despite his reservations. “And I miss you. I’ve missed you so, so much. I just -“

“Kuro,” Kenma says, the old, familiar nickname said in his soft tone almost overwhelming. “You don’t have to apologize, you know. This is just as much my fault. I also could’ve said something. And… I’m sorry too.”

Kuroo’s head shoots up. This is starting to sound a little too familiar, almost word-for-word what Himura had said to Fujimoto in Kenma’s novel. But the next thing that Himura had said to Fujimoto was…

“Are you in love with me?” Kuroo whispers, his voice still trembling a little bit.

The pink on Kenma’s cheeks shifts into a deeper red. He trains his gaze on the ground as he says, “Yeah. A little bit.”

“Huh,” Kuroo says intelligently. “Well, that sucks. Because I’m kind of a lot in love with you, and that’d put us at a little bit of an imbalance.”

Kenma freezes.

For a second, Kuroo thinks that he’s read the situation wrong - that somehow Kenma had been joking about being in love with him or something like that - but then Kenma lifts his head, and Kuroo _knows _that look in his eyes. The year spent apart hasn’t been enough for Kuroo to forget his thorough catalogue of all of Kenma’s expressions. And this one is pure happiness, contentment, even a little bit of excitement tucked behind the sparkle in his eyes. And Kuroo has to chuckle.

“You know,” he says, “I thought that the way Bokuto confessed to Akaashi was weird, his whole fucked up love letter shit. But that’s really nothing compared to having someone write a whole ass love story about you and them and then get it published, all without telling you a thing.”

Kenma’s face is practically scarlet now. He ducks his head back down, the embarrassment clear as he says, “I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Text me, maybe?” Kuroo says.

Kenma crosses his arms, and maybe it’s just Kuroo’s biased imagination, but he thinks that Kenma’s somehow gotten even more adorable since the last time Kuroo saw him. “And say what?” he grumbles. “Hey, sorry we haven’t spoken in months, but I’m in love with you and I can’t keep it in so I’m gonna write a book about it?”

“I mean, I would’ve been fine with that,” Kuroo says.

“I couldn’t do something that embarrassing and gross,” Kenma says. His face is scarlet and his arms are still crossed and his little nose is turned up, and all at once it suddenly hits Kuroo that Kenma’s _here_, that Kenma’s in front of him again after all this time, that Kenma’s in love with him, that Kenma can be _his. _That the long year of separation is over. That he can have Kenma.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Kenma steps forward and wipes a tear from his cheek softly. “Kuro,” he says, gazing up at him. “It’s okay.”

“I missed you,” Kuroo croaks out. “I missed you so much.”

Kenma takes another step forward, burying his head in Kuroo’s chest. Kuroo’s arms come up to wrap around Kenma’s back before he can stop them, encircling him and giving him a tight squeeze. As he stands there, holding Kenma, he thinks that he probably won’t be persuaded to let go any time soon.

“I missed you too,” Kenma whispers into his chest. “So I’m kind of thinking we hold off on having any major fights in the next couple of months. Until we get our bearings, at least."

"Well, our fight got you a bestselling book,” Kuroo points out through his slowly fading sobs.

Kenma’s body vibrates in what might be a laugh. “Not worth it,” he says, and then, after a moment’s pause, “You know, a lot of my readers have contacted me to say they love Fujimoto. Like, they want to marry him.”

Kuroo grins down at him. “I’m just that lovable. Even in fictional form.”

“You’re annoying,” Kenma says, but his voice is affectionate, and god, Kuroo’s missed him so much. Kuroo loves him so much. Kuroo can't believe this is really happening, but hell if he's not absolutely thrilled about it. 

“This seems familiar,” Kuroo muses. “Fujimoto shows up at Himura’s door, they talk, they confess, they promise never to fight like that again… hey, are you actually a fortuneteller?”

“I just wrote what I wanted to happen,” Kenma says. The way he hides his face in Kuroo’s chest again tells Kuroo how embarrassed he is about the entire thing, and Kuroo kind of loves it. It’s far too adorable.

“I think it’s sweet that you made yourself a girl.”

“My publisher pressured me to change it from two guys into a guy and a girl, and I agreed that I didn’t want that kind of controversial attention. Don’t you dare laugh.”

“Don’t worry,” Kuroo says wickedly, raising his eyebrows at Kenma. “I’m not laughing. Still, though, I do think it’s my favorite book I’ve read in a long time. You’re a talented writer, kitten. I’m gonna have to give it a reread soon.”

“You’re not allowed to read it ever again.”

“I bought my own copy! I can do whatever I want with it!”

“Kuro,” Kenma says, and he’s bringing out the big guns: puppy dog eyes, a tiny pout. “Please don’t read it again. It’s embarrassing.”

Rather than reply to that, though, Kuroo leans down to kiss the pout off of his mouth. The kiss is soft and gentle, Kenma threading his fingers through Kuroo’s hair, Kuroo cradling Kenma like he’s the most precious thing he’s ever held - and Kuroo’s pretty sure he might be. When he pulls back, he rests their foreheads together, smiling down at Kenma.

Kenma’s eyebrows furrow. “You know,” he says flatly, “I think I didn’t do that kiss justice in my novel.”

Kuroo laughs and kisses him again, a little more fiercely this time. And when Kenma invites him inside to catch up, he happily accepts, and thinks with a little bit of wonder that the world has started to regain its color just a little bit.

He doesn’t intend to let it slip away ever again.

.

Text from: _Akaashi Keiji_

Hello, Kuroo-san. How did your meeting with Himura - I mean, Kenma go?  
  


Text to: _Akaashi Keiji_

Fujimoto got the girl.

Text to: _Akaashi Keiji_

That means that we’re dating. And he’s mine. And I have the most beautiful boyfriend in the entire universe. And the most talented.

Text from: _Akaashi Keiji_

I know, Kuroo-san.

Text to: _Akaashi Keiji_

And he loves me, and he wrote an entire book about me, and I’m in love with him

Text from: _Akaashi Keiji_

I’m sorry I asked, Kuroo-san.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUROO!!  
In celebration of Kuroo's birthday and Kuroo himself, please have this (shorter than I'd imagined, but ya girl is running low on time) fic that popped into my head a couple of days ago and a lot of people wanted to see in fic form. It's hopelessly fluffy and I hope you all enjoy it!  
If so, please leave a comment!! Thank you so much for reading!


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